Until the End
by Anae-chan
Summary: Zack’s dying, and he experiences a flow of memories. Some of those memories hurt like hell but others made the life worth living. And even when he’s dying, he isn’t alone.


_To: Paula, as a 18-year-old birthday present. (Cheap one to give, but took one hell of a time to find the clips and to write.)_

_Title: Until the End_

_Author: Anae_

_Beta: Azrax (Thank you a thousand.)_

_Fandom: Final Fantasy VII - Crisis Core_

_Rating: PG-13/R_

_Warnings: Character death_

_Spoilers: Thorough Crisis Core. From the beginning until the end._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy. Lucky Square boys have that one. The song is: Breaking Benjamin - Until the End. And it sadly doesn't belong to me either._

_Summary: Zack's dying, and he experiences a flow of memories. Some of those memories hurt like hell but others made the life worth living. And even when he's dying, he isn't alone._

_A/N: Once I swore I'd never write a fic purely based on clips again. But here we are, look what happened._

_A/N2: If you feel bothered of the fact that I didn't use Aeris a lot, I have an explanation for it. This is my friend's birthday-present and she isn't too fond of her. Neither am I, though. But note that I did not skip her totally. Besides, I do think it was harder for Zack to leave Cloud behind than Aeris._

_A/N3: Paula, you better like this one or I eat your mangas! It was hell to look for the clips. (Okay, mainly because I am a perfectionist and couldn't use Japanese ones, but anyway.) So like it, alrighty, hun? ;)_

_Feedback: Makes me stay alive and write more._

_**So clever, whatever, I'm done with these endeavors  
**__**Alone I'll walk the winding way (here I stay)  
**__**It's over, no longer, I feel it growing stronger  
**__**I live to die another day, until I fade away**_

Zack was kneeling in front of Cloud, a tiny, almost invisible smile playing on his features. There were god knows how many soldiers after them and Cloud was in no state to fight, thanks to several mako injections Hojo and other researchers had given to them. Actually, Cloud probably wasn't even aware of what was going on.

With a sad bark of laughter Zack ruffled his best friend's blond hair. It was a gesture Cloud had always hated but both guys knew it was young soldier's way to show how much he cared. If Cloud would've been himself, he would have grunted and pushed Zack's hand away, but now the boy was like a rag doll. He probably didn't even know someone was beside him.

Zack stood up. For a while, he just looked at Cloud. The boy was safe from the battle, between a huge stone and stonewall. They had made a good run after all; they had managed to get from Nibelheim, nearly reached Midgar. Nearly. But now, in the wasteland, they were found. Deep inside Zack was aware that this would be his last battle. It felt bad to leave Cloud here, but he was lacking options. After all, as a SOLDIER 1st class, Zack might have a chance against these troops.

With those thoughts, Zack turned his back on Cloud and walked into the battle. If he had turned, he would've seen Cloud, who was slowly coming to his senses, reaching out a hand. But Zack never did turn. In front of his eyes there were hundreds of soldiers, some holding guns, some holding swords, even helicopters were in the air, ready to fire.

Zack let out a sigh and shook his head. "Boy oh boy." Then usually so warm, carefree face became stiff. "The price of freedom sure is steep."

Slowly young man pulled a sword from his back. With two hands he lifted it in front of his face, preparing to fight. This was Buster Sword, his late friend's and mentor's weapon. Angeal's words echoed in Zack's head and he let them out. "Embrace your dreams. And…" He started to lower the sword. "…whatever happens, protect you honor…" Zack's mako blue eyes were on the Buster Sword. He remembered it all, everything he, Cloud, Angeal, even Genesis, Sephiroth and Lazard had gone through. "As SOLDIER!"

Zack wielded his sword, starting to run towards the numerous enemy while memories were playing, just like a movie, in his head. "Come and get it!"

_**Why give up? Why give in?  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**So I will go on until the end  
**__**We've become, desolate  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**But I will go on until the end**_

_Zack, SOLDIER 2nd class was in Lasard's, director of SOLDIER, office, listening carefully every word he was told about a man named Genesis gone missing. Genesis was a 1st class SOLDIER who had gone missing during a mission in Wutai, which was at war with their homeland._

_But there was a phrase that rang weird on boy's ears. "The mission is currently stuck in limbo. That's why we've decided to send you."_

_Hold on a sec. Him? To look for a missing SOLDIER? "Uh, to Wutai?"_

"_Yes. This war has gone on long enough." Still, even with this Lazard worrying, it made no sense that he of all the available people…_

"_I've recommended for 1st", Angeal, Zack's friend and mentor, said calmly. He was sitting on chair, not even looking the boy. His steady gaze was fixed on the screen._

_Zack whirled around, in amazement and let out a happy laughter. He couldn't believe this! It was so awesome! He was going to be 1st! 1st!_

"_Angeal!" Zack had never been this happy in his life. Now he had the chance to fullfill his dream for real! It caused him practically jump on his friend's back. "I love you man!" If boy hadn't been too caught up in his overflowing joy, he would've seen Lasard looking at this table, leaning to his fist, trying not to laugh._

"_Ang--"_

_The next thing Zack knew was that Angeal pushed him away, saying: "Don't make me regret this, Zack." Even though the man's words and tone were quite harsh, there was no real anger behind them. Even the push was somewhat gentle. Angeal just reminded his far too emotional and bungling friend to slow down a bit. After all, they were at the director's office._

_Nevertheless, it didn't bother Zack. He was really, really, going to be 1st! Just… wow._

_**So let me, it's easy, to fall apart completely  
**__**I feel you creeping up again (In my head)  
**__**It's over, no longer, I feel it growing colder  
**__**I knew this day would come to end, so let this life begin**_

It was raining. The rain was falling down to wasteland like it would never end. Zack was lying on the ground, bleeding from several places. He had been shot so many times he couldn't even count it, and swords had reached him far too many times as well. Even the SOLDIER armor was ripped by gunshots.

"Zack."

Zack drew a breath. Damn, it hurt. Then he laid his eyes on the gentle voice calling him. Zack felt both overflowing joy, just like at the time he had become a SOLDIER 1st, and choking sorrow, just like the time he had watched Angeal dying, take control.

But the happiness was greater. After all, Cloud was there, beside him. Cloud was alive and fine. Well, maybe not fine but a lot better than recently. At least he talked and recognized him. It would've been great if they would be able to go on, walk to Midgar together but… Zack knew his body. And it was on it's limits.

More memories flowed in. There had been so much grief but also moments that made life worth of living.

_**Why give up? Why give in?  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**So I will go on until the end  
**__**We've become, desolate  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**But I will go on until the end**_

_Angeal was laying on Zack's feet. Zack had just won him. No, he hadn't won Angeal, but that monster Angeal had made himself to become. Now this man laying on his feet… This was the real Angeal. An aged one, thanks to the cells, but still Angeal. Zack had never wanted to hurt him, not mentally let alone physically. How had it ended up this way? What the hell had happened to dreams? To honor?_

"_Zack", Angeal said, tone as calming and sure as ever. As if nothing had happened. "You have my thanks."_

_The boy kneeled down, gasping for breath. He was holding back tears, not wanting to show them to Angeal. Not now. Not now, when his beloved friend and mentor was… Zack couldn't finish the thought. Just couldn't. Even Angeal's beautiful, white wing was gone, only snow-white feathers were on the ground, shattered around the kind man._

"_This…" Angeal lifted the Buster Sword, making Zack almost jump. "…is for you."_

_At that moment, holding back tears became harder than ever. Zack drew a breath, knowing even that gave out his feelings. Slowly he took the sword, that meant so very much to Angeal, to his own hands. As far as Zack knew, Angeal had used it only once. To protect him._

"_Protect your honor, always…" Then Angeal laid his head now, closed him eyes, and went still._

_Now that the realization struck in for real, Zack slumped down, still holding Buster Sword in his hands. Soon he stood up, lifting the huge sword in front of his face, shaking. Even now he was holding back, hiding his cries from now late Angeal. Zack heard his mentor's words in his head, holding on to them. Angeal had never been wrong. "Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams… and honor."_

_Zack lowered the sword, still shaking, feeling numerous emotions flowing inside him. At the moment the sword went down and his gaze met Angeal's body, it started to rain. The rain wasn't hard though, almost gentle. Zack lifted his head up, feeling the rain wash over his face and still trembling body._

_It took a couple of days for Zack to realize something he had learned from his mentor. Angeal had lived his life believing in honor. Zack was going to follow his example. After all, he still had dream of his own to achieve. Like he had told Lasard once, his dream was to become a hero. Unlike Lasard thought, it wouldn't be unattainable. Not to him who followed Angeal's footsteps._

_**I've lost my way  
**__**I've lost my way  
**__**But I will go on until the end  
**__**Living is, hard enough, without you fucking UP...**_

"_Settle down… Zack the puppy."_

"_He's summoning again!"  
_"_Zack, I leave this to you."  
_"_Huh?"  
_"_You can do this, trust me."  
_"_Don't leave me here! Stop! Come back!"_

"_It should have been me… I should have dealt with Genesis."  
_"_Yeah… Then why did you send me?"  
_"_To prepare you… for your next fight."  
_"_Have you lost it? Stop it!"  
_"_Someone's waiting for you, no?"  
_"_Angeal… Don't do this."_

"_Stand and fight, SOLDIER 1st class Zack!"  
__Zack stared Genesis in disbelief. Hadn't they already fought enough? He had come here to save this Loveless-addict, and what he got, only orders to fight more and more? Genesis was angry, alright, but Zack was starting to have enough as well. He had lost so much lately and still… "Why is everyone…" Zack shook his head, not meeting his opponent's eyes. "…always pushing things on me?" Everyone had been pushing him do take part in so many battles he never wanted to participate in. So goddamn many… Zack pulled his sword, praying this battle would be the last battle ever he'd be forced to take part in._

_**Why give up? Why give in?  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**So I will go on until the end  
**__**We've become, desolate  
**__**It's not enough, it never is  
**__**But I will go on until the end**_

"_Yo!" Zack yelled, turning to see Tseng, the leader of Turks walking slowly behind him. Even farther behind, there were another of the two rookies that had been sent to this mission. "Don't fall too far behind!"_

_On the other hand, one of the rookies was a pleasant surprise to Zack. This kid was walking on his side, not showing even the slightest sings of feeling under the weather because of the climate. After all, they were on the snowy mountains, walking now after their helicopter had come down._

"_At least someone's keeping up!" Zack happily noted. At least he didn't need to walk on a normal speed alone._

"_Well, I'm a country boy too", was the answer. Zack was eyeing the boy. This guy couldn't be old, probably younger than Zack himself. He felt a slight irritation not being able to see the rookie's face since he wore a helmet covering his upper face._

"_From where?" Zack asked, wanting to build up a conversation. He was feeling far too energetic to stay his mouth shut. Besides, the other boy had made him curious._

_Hearing the question, the boy stopped. It took a while before he answered, still not looking SOLDIER in the eye. That was when Zack walked in front of him. "Nibelheim."_

_Zack turned his back, starting to laugh out loud. Nibelheim? Oh, c'mon!_

"_How about you?"_

_Zack turned back, smiling. "Me?" he pointed himself. "Gongaga."_

_Now it was the rookie's turn to laugh._

"_Hey, what's so funny about that?" Zack stated, wanting to know. Okay. Gongaga was quite a countryside, but no one knew where it was located anyway. "You know Gongaga?"_

"_No", the boy answered, finally showing a trace of a smile, "but it's such a backwater name."_

"_Ditto Nibelheim", Zack mocked, starting to walk forward. He didn't manage to take more than two steps when the kid was throwing words back at him. "Like you've been there."_

_Okay, Zack had to admit that he was starting to like the kid. "I haven't", he answered, turning again back to the rookie. It was true, he had never been in Nibelheim and probably never would, but at least the name rang a bell to him. "But there's a reactor there, right?" he continued, pointing the boy. "A mako reactor outside Midgar usually means…"_

"…_nothing else out there", both boys said at the same time. Then they met each others eyes, surprise showing out on both of their faces. Suddenly, both Zack and the rookie found the situation somewhat hilarious. They were both country boys, now that was given. Unrestraint laughter filled the air._

"_Good news, Tseng!" Zack yelled at the Turk walking far behind them. "Me and…" Oh, crap. Zack eyed his companion, realizing he didn't even know the boy's name, even though he had come to like him already. There was nothing that the two country boys wouldn't share._

"_Cloud", the rookie filled, taking off his helmet. Quickly Zack checked the boy. Younger than him for sure, but probably not so many years that it seemed. The blond, naturally upright hair and blue eyes made the boy looked even younger than he was._

"_Me and Cloud here", Zack continued yelling so that Tseng would hear him, and spread his hands theatrically, "are both backwater experts. Oh yeah!"_

_Both boys turned their backs at Tseng, barely even hearing Turk's answer: "Good. Carry on then."_

_The boys continued to walk along the snowy mountain, chatting every now and then. Neither of them knew that that moment in the snowy mountains was the start of never-ending, deep friendship._

_**I've lost the way  
**__**I've lost the way  
**__**But I will go on until the end**_

Zack focused on breathing as the cool raindrops washed his wounds. There was still something he wanted to say. Something he wished Cloud to do. "For the both of us", he voiced aloud. How could it hurt this much to talk?

"Both of us?" Cloud repeated. Zack felt like dancing, which, he noted, he'd never again be able to do. Cloud was really alright. He understood his words.

"That's right", Zack answered, not remembering when was the last time he had felt this happy, "you're gonna…" The SOLDIER felt his body and tongue starting to betray him. Second after second, it became harder to mouth the words.

The blond boy repeated his dying friend's words again, trying to catch what he was trying to tell. "You're gonna?"

Zack reached out his gloved hand, lifting it behind Cloud's neck. Even through the fabric, he felt other boy's warmth. Neither of them deserved this. Not him, not Cloud. Zack had hoped he could've been able to look after the boy in the future as well. But there was always a price to pay. This was the price of freedom. It was steep, higher than it should've been. But it was alright. At least another of them would make it to Midgar. Without thinking any better, Zack pulled Cloud down. The boy's head was on his chest. "Live", he said. It was the only thing Zack was wishing for. The only thing he had fought for. The only one he had been able to save. Cloud.

Zack had to take a couple of breaths. He was carefully, gently stoking Cloud's hair. It was a loving gesture between only him and Cloud. "You'll be…" Zack didn't let go of Cloud. In the cold rain, the only thing that gave Zack courage and knowledge he had done the right thing was the other boy's warmth. He couldn't say it aloud, but he was hoping Cloud would realize it. Someday. "…my living legacy."

The older of the two let his hand fall to the wet ground. He didn't have the strength to hold it up. Cloud lifted his head up, both his hair and face covered in Zack's blood, slowly realizing what was really going on. Tired mako blue eyes met the ones of the kind. Slowly Zack turned his head on his right side, noticing how his vision was starting to become blurry. He fixed his eyes on the Buster Sword he was holding. "My honor, my dreams", he told Cloud as he used the strength left in him to lift the heavy Buster Sword up. He held it in front of Cloud. The meaning of the Buster Sword. Honor, dreams. They had passed from Angeal to Zack, and now he passed them on to Cloud. "They're yours now."

Slowly, as if scared, Cloud lifted first his right hand to take a grasp of the sword, and then his left. The moment both skinny arms were holding it, Zack pushed it closer to Cloud. For a while his mind hesitated, pondering if he had given too big responsibly to his young friend. But deep inside he knew Cloud could do it. The kid was so much braver and stronger he had ever been given credit for.

"I'm… your living legacy", Cloud repeated.

Zack gave Cloud a sad smile. He was so sorry for leaving the boy alone, leaving him and Aeris behind, but… it couldn't be helped. Cloud had to go on without him from now on. Besides, saving one life, especially if one life that held so much meaning to you, was more than worth of dying for. With those thoughts, Zack closed his eyes, just in time not to hear Cloud's nameless, heart-broking scream.

_**The final fight I win  
**__**The final fight I win  
**__**The final fight I win**_

"_Thank you. I won't forget.  
__Good night, Zack."_

When Zack opened his eyes, it didn't feel like he was hurting anymore. He felt… free. When a beautiful, snow-white feather was falling from the sky, Zack knew a certain someone was coming to get him.

_Those wings… I want them too._

So he reached out his hand and when he was being lifted to the sky by his old, beloved friend as the pure, white feathers were flowing around them, he closed his eyes. _It feels good._

While being fled across the sky, Zack saw Cloud carrying the huge Buster Sword behind him through the wasteland. _If you see Aeris, say hi for me._

But above Aeris, seeing living Cloud made a feeling rise up on Zack's head, not leaving him in peace. He couldn't place the feeling though.

As the last of those beautiful, white feathers was falling down, towards the place Zack's mortal life had ended and he had joined in the life stream, the feeling formed itself to words.

_Hey, would you say I became a hero?_

_**But I will go on until the end**_


End file.
